A Long Week

I promised I wouldn't bore you or disgust you with an overabundance of details about parenting, so I'll try to stick with that.  So, here's an explanation of why I'm feeling so defeated this week.

Until last Monday, Daniel was just about a perfect baby.  Good sleeper, good eater, generally a pleasant disposition.  It turns out, though, that there were a few problems that we just hadn't noticed.  (These are all related to feeding.)

Problem #1 (which is not very major) was compensating for and hiding Problem #2.  Problem #2 should probably have been noticed at the hospital but wasn't. 

Problem #1 is minor, but when left alone for too long can (and did) cause Problem #3. 

Problem #3 then spiraled into Problem #4, which eliminated Problem #1 altogether.  Of course, once Problem #1 was eliminated, we discovered Problem #2.  Now that there's no Problem #1 to compensate for #2, nothing quite works the way it should.

In concert with a doctor and lactation consultant, we seem to have brought Problem #3 under control (though I'm not totally sure) and are working on the other three.  It might take a few weeks, they say. We have good days and bad days, and sometimes a day you think was good wasn't really so good after all.

Over the course of the week, Daniel has lost weight (he's supposed to gain about an ounce a day) and became a fussy baby (because he wasn't eating properly and was generally feeling uncomfortable).  He hasn't eaten right, hasn't slept right, and hasn't been very pleasant while he's awake.  About two-thirds of our day is spent on things related to his feeding issues (the physical act of feeding him and making sure he doesn't spit it all back up, pumping out his next meal, and cleaning up all of the related paraphernalia).  And I don't mean two-thirds of our waking day, either.

I really thought things were going better, but yesterday was bad again.  Finding out that he had dropped weight was especially bad.  It's exhausting and terrifying.  We were given some gifts this weekend of really cute outfits in the next few sizes up, and part of me looks at them and thinks Dan isn't going to make it to that size.  That part of me feels like I've already failed and just wants to crawl back to bed to die.

Of course, there's also the cold, pragmatic part of me that says I'm too stubborn, and we'll fix this (problems 1, 2, and 4) whether Daniel likes it or not.    If I start something, I'm going to see it through.  That part of me is doggedly frustrated but keeps on working anyway.

Then, there's also the part of me that does trust that God has all things in control and will work things out for His glory.  I'm (slowly) reading John right now, and every time we have a bad day, the next morning there's a passage like the opening of chapter 9 ("why is this man sick?  did he sin, or did his parents sin?"  "Neither.  This happened so that God could show His power.") or chapter 10 ("this sickness is not unto death") that helps remind me of these things.  This part of me is confident and calm, and is able to do what she has to do in peace and even joy.

I don't know which part will win out today.

Since I'm not writing anything right now...

I always feel a little creepy about reading blogs from people I don't personally know, though I know it's a very hip thing to do.  I'm gradually getting more used to the concept.  Two of my favorite singer-songwriters have blogs that I enjoy.  Here are two very good entries for you to peruse:

Sara Groves (one of her blogs about a trip to Rwanda)

http://saragrovesofficial.blogspot.com/2009/04/right-to-heart-jesus-loves-little.html 

Justin McRoberts (an entry about living more intentionally)

http://justinmcroberts.com/blog/?p=397

And we posted that just in time!

So, I posted those final notes on Friday, then on Saturday we went to the hospital! 

Good thing I had just posted, too, because otherwise I might have caved and written stupid "contractions are ____ apart!" messages all day.

Anyway, for the four of you who keep up with me on Xanga before other sources:

Daniel Isaac Lindberg was born at 9:25 am on May 31st.  He was 7 lbs, 5 oz, and 19.8 inches.  He ended up not looking like an old man in a baby suit as we had feared.  He even looks pretty good!  (There was some old-man look to his knees and feet, but that has already worn off).  Here's a fine photo (taken after we got home Tuesday):

All I need to say about labor:  the "first phase," when you're just timing contractions and waiting for them to get good/bad enough for you to go to the hospital, is dreadfully boring.  I mean, what do you do for six minutes while you wait for the next one?  Other than that (which I had never thought about before), labor was about what you'd expect.  Right.

The hospital was fantastic.  Really, I recommend this hospital for every pregnant person who can drive to Annapolis.  The staff is very attentive and knowledgable, and they go to great lengths to make sure you're comfortable, supplied, and informed.  It was really a great experience (except for the whole labor thing).  Heck, they even sent in a massage therapist just before we left.

Anyway, we're home now and figuring out how all this works.  It's kind of surreal.

Some last notes

Since there's no new news for you, I thought I would take this opportunity to give you some last-minute reassurances:

• While I'm in labor, I will not log onto Facebook or Xanga to post updates on my progress.  I know that no one wants to read the gory details.  Besides, the details are the same for everyone, so if you really want to know how it's going, read an article about the process or something.
• One of us might post a Facebook status about leaving for the hospital, but that's it, people.  All you need to know.
• After we have the baby, I will not write a detailed post about the experience.  If you really need to hear the details, hit up your local library.  The only exception would be if there's something terribly unusual like "I had the baby in a taxicab" or "it turned out there were two of them!" 
• One of us will post a quick note with important details such as the baby's gender, name, size, and time of arrival.  For those of you who are local (or who want to drive down), we will probably post a list of times we would accept visitors.
• There may be a photo, but honestly all newborn babies look about equally slimy and wrinkled, so you're better off waiting for the 2-month photo when our baby will start to attain some actual cuteness.  We are going to have a skinny, bald baby, and you certainly don't want to look at dozens of photos of a funny-looking kid whose skull has just been squeezed through a narrow opening and is all misshapen.  Or, if you do, then you're a mean person and we aren't going to post pictures just so you can laugh at our baby who looks like an old man in a baby suit. 
• After we have the baby, I won't blog about the minutiae of daily life.  Our days will look exactly like the days of every other set of new parents.  We will change lots of diapers, spend most of the day feeding the child, and be generally exhausted.  There you go. 

I hope that eases your mind a bit.

Things to check before you go shopping

Before you ever head out to a store, you should check a few things:

1-the actual time the store opens.  If there's one thing you don't want to do, it's arrive long before the store is actually open.

2-if there are any one-day-only while-supplies-last sales going on that day.  because, if there are, you might have to wait in line just to get into the store, then you'll need to wait in an incredibly long line just to walk through the store, then another line to check out. 

Because that's why what was supposed to be a fun little trip to IKEA this morning took about two hours longer than it should have.  But we made sure to get our free breakfast (yet another long line), so at least we feel like we got repaid a little for the headaches.  Or: headache for Walt, backache for me.  We probably would have browsed more and bought more things if we wouldn't have felt like we were skipping out of line to do that.